Ep. 46: Forgive yourself. Period.

Nov 5

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As humans, it is in our nature to punish ourselves when we do something wrong. But does punishing yourself ever really account for something good?

In this episode, we talk about forgiveness. And it’s not about forgiving a friend, a family member, or a loved one. It’s forgiving the most important person to you—you.

WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:

People’s common response to making mistakes [3:53]

Beating yourself up—which is extremely unhealthy
Blaming yourself DOES NOT help
Dwelling in the past and wishing you’ve made a different choice
What’s important is asking yourself how to avoid making the same mistake

Why living in the shadow of your mistakes could be problematic [6:20]

You lose room for gratitude
What you did in the past shaped who are today
What have you learned from your mistakes?

Letting go of your mistakes [10:08]

Even the U.S. Constitution won’t prosecute you for the same offense—there’s no need for you to put yourself in trial repeatedly
Your mistakes don’t necessarily define who you are and who you’ll be
Give yourself permission to learn from your mistakes and use what you learned
Don’t let your mistakes stop you from preaching your story

The haze of choosing differently [15:52]

How can you make a different choice and stop beating yourself up?
How can you learn to forgive yourself, like how you forgive others?
If you spoke to yourself the way that you speak to other people, would you want to be in a relationship with YOU?
How can you choose you every day?

If you can forgive the horrendous mistakes others committed to you, can’t you do the same for yourself?

EPISODE QUOTES:

The first relationship that you have is the one with yourself.
So why would you not do that for you?
- Scott Hayes

I'm a human being. I made this choice at this moment, but the truth is, that doesn't define me.
I am still whole, I'm still healed, I am still wise.
- Shaté Hayes

I don't get to have one defeat and that be that be my defining moment. Your victories and your defeats are not your defining moments, the way that you live your life and its totality is your defining moment.
- Scott Hayes