Ep. 2: New Release
WATCH:
LISTEN:
In this episode, we're going to talk about letting go of old versions of yourself and learning to show up in new seasons of your life.
Nobody becomes someone new overnight. So let's have a chat about what it looks like to be in a new season, the challenges that come with that, and how to get through it with grace for yourself and others.
WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:
The idea of ‘shifting through’ [2:41]
How being in a marriage requires a different version of ourselves
Going out of your comfort zone to be a better you
If you’re in a marriage, it’s vital to have the difficult conversation about growing individually or growing together
Having new interests, perspectives, and choices (especially if the old ones no longer serve you)
Why being fine with being uncomfortable is OKAY [7:45]
There is a larger version of life that God wants for you
Just because something is scary doesn’t mean it should be avoided
You can’t continue to seek safety and want the best things
Either you do it and become better or you don’t and get stuck
How to know if you’ve shifted through [13:09]
The new things feel normal
Your interests and thoughts changed
Looking back and asking, “What was I thinking?”
Recognizing unhealthy choices that you’ve made before
Healing ≠ forgetting [20:09]
You can be healed and still revisit the experience that scarred you
Healing is a life-long process
You can’t forget your scars; they’re part of your story
The haze of transitioning to the new version of yourself [25:27]
Dealing with change is not easy
There are people who would hold the old you hostage—let them go
Navigating the haze [31:17]
While there are people who won’t honor and celebrate the new you, there are others who will
Giving yourself permission to be the best that you can be
EPISODE QUOTES:
Some people might have this picture of healed as like, ‘I'm over the thing, and I don't ever have to revisit it again.’ But I don't think that's really how healing works for most people. You can get over the thing and have to continue to release it, continue to get over it. It could keep coming back up, there will be triggers, there will be reminders, and you have to continue to choose the healing, you have to continue to choose the new thing.
- Shaté Hayes
When something left a mark, you can't pretend like it never happened. We all want to be smarter the next time, we are wanting to do things in a different way, but the scar remains. And our duty is to know where the scar came from to be able to identify safer things that we can do in the future so we don’t fall in the same way of falling away to injure ourselves so badly.
- Scott Hayes
You either do it and, and are elevated or you don't, and you stay stuck. And you just repeat the same cycles and repeat the same lessons that are to be learned.
- Shaté Hayes
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:
Peaks & Valleys by Spencer Johnson, M.D.
Listen to Golden Time of Day by Maze
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
Follow @iamshate on Instagram
Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
Clear the haze with our Weekly Word.
We’ll send you insights from our recent convos, book recommendations, resources, and more to help you navigate the unspoken hard parts of life.
