Ep. 3: Take the “L.”
WATCH:
LISTEN:
In dealing with life’s hardest situations, it’s tempting to just simply take the ‘L’ or take the LOSS. But what difference would it make if instead of taking the LOSS, we start taking the LESSONS, apply them to our journey, and share them with others?
WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:
Why were facing difficult situations involving others [00:50]
Hurt people hurt people
Expecting the same thing from the other person
Taking things personally
Feeling victimized by the situation (which is a part our nature as humans)
We face process pain differently [8:22]
Fighting aggressiveness with aggressiveness
Shutting down the other person
The haze of taking the ‘L’ [12:39]
Being silent/still to have the chance to learn the lesson
Setting aside your ego (even if it hurts) to process and get out of the situation
Recognizing what healing really looks like
Enduring the hurt
Taking the ‘L’ and sharing it to others
Knowing what the lesson is [20:20]
Listening to your spiritual connection
Taking small things away and not repeating them
Recognizing the bigger picture
Remembering that healing is not dependent on others
What if you don't have to be the hero?
Navigating the haze of taking the ‘L’ [27:36]
Finding a person/group who will support you all the time
Listening to others who have experienced the same thing (i.e. articles, books, videos, etc).
Pausing and acknowledging the pain
EPISODE QUOTES:
So someone might even tell me, ‘what you're saying is hurting me.’ But it's not what I'm saying that's hurting you. And get this—it’s that you have wounds that I touched by what I said, it's not my words, it's that what I've said has triggered someone that is within you. And so that really helped me put things in perspective to try to take myself away from it. Because even though it is a hurtful situation, I have to recognize that it's not really always about me.
- Shaté Hayes
So everything that I need to heal is within me. And my healing is not dependent on this person dealing with their injury. Because whatever made them feel the way that they felt to attack me, it's their injury, their pain, their healing that they have to do. And if I'm waiting on justice for them, then I can't be all here talking about grace and healing and all this other thing.
- Scott Hayes
Not many things have to be a loss, I think we determine the things that are a loss. And reframing is the work that we have to do ourselves. That's the healing work.
- Scott Hayes
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:
Listen to Lessons by Sinead Harnett
The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
Follow @iamshate on Instagram
Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
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