Ep. 22: Who hurt you?
WATCH:
LISTEN:
It is possible for us to recognize the areas where we have been hurt and strive to not let them control our actions or our responses. It could be a hazy process, but we’ll figure it out together.
In today’s episode, we talk about who hurts you, how that pain manifests in your daily life, and how to navigate through it all.
WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:
Moments that make you think “who hurt you?” [2:39]
Being afraid of good things
Staying on your comfort zone (when that’s not where happiness usually is)
Having the “flight” response
Difficulty in trusting others
Unwillingness to experience disappointment
Avoiding to react from our hurt places [13:23]
The importance of self-awareness
Remembering that the energy you emit is the same energy that goes back to you
The haze of addressing those hurt places [20:36]
Finding the grace to accept others, especially love ones, who are not willing to address their hurt places
Having to have uncomfortable conversations
Recognizing generational differences
Recognizing the privilege of speaking from a place of healing
Navigating through the haze of addressing hurt places [30:29]
Having the emotional bandwidth to addressing the issues
Setting real boundaries and having the maturity to deal with discomfort
Making sure you’re always speaking your truth—disagreeing can be respectful and coming from the place of love
How can you have grace for this person, but also teach them how to love you?
Avoiding to hurt others in the process
Lessons [37:22]
How people act is not about you—don’t take things personally
People’s interaction with you is not a totality of who they are; don’t be too self-centered
EPISODE QUOTES:
If there’s a one who hurts you, we have to maybe find a way to learn that maybe one of our first responses to not be defense, but to be like, “Actually, this isn't about me, and I'm not gonna own it.”
- Shaté Hayes
A lot of people's experience with me is just a snapshot of their entire being. Who am I then to make their entire being just about me?
- Scott Hayes
If you focus on the negative thing, you'll get more of that positive thing, you'll get more of that.
- Shaté Hayes
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:
Listen to Ugly Part of Me by Avery Sunshine
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
Follow @iamshate on Instagram
Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
Clear the haze with our Weekly Word.
We’ll send you insights from our recent convos, book recommendations, resources, and more to help you navigate the unspoken hard parts of life.
