Ep. 58: Lopsided relationships collapse.
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We believe that every relationship is a journey, and we are here striving to help you navigate through it.
In our previous episodes, we've discussed topics such as matching energy, communication styles, and conflict resolution, all aimed at helping you build stronger and healthier relationships. Today, we're excited to dive into a new topic: reciprocity in relationships. Let’s delve into the importance of balance and mutual giving in any relationship.
WHAT TO LISTEN FOR
The Role of Position and Responsibility in Lopsided Relationship [1:01]
The positions we put people in can contribute to relationship imbalances.
Taking responsibility for our part is key to addressing these imbalances.
If a relationship is lopsided from the start, it may not survive.
The importance of doing internal work to avoid blaming others for these imbalances is emphasized
Expectations, Capacity, and Complexity [2:41]
The expectations and pressures that come with labels like "best friend" and how they can contribute to lopsided relationships.
Not everyone deserves a front seat in our lives, and recognizing when someone may not have the capacity to show up in a certain way is important.
Nuances and Complexity in Relationships [4:00]
Lopsided relationships: one person gives more than the other, cannot hold substance, ultimately cannot survive.
Individual circumstances, patterns of behavior, societal expectations contribute to unbalanced relationships
Nuance is essential in understanding unbalanced relationships.
Repositioning people in our lives can help address unbalanced relationships.
Family relationships can be complex due to societal expectations
Selflessness, Boundaries, and Different Forms of Support in Relationships [8:36]
Finding selflessness while maintaining boundaries and being able to have some level of selfishness without feeling guilty results in finding balance.
People show up based on how they have learned to operate with their own stuff, which can lead to different types of support and interactions.
Finding a balance between faith and relationships is key in navigating these dynamics.
Repositioning for Sustainable Connections [15:00]
Relationships require fluidity and the ability to adapt to changing circumstances.
Reposition people in our lives without discarding them entirely.
If a relationship is consistently lopsided and unable to provide the support needed, it may be necessary to position someone else in that role
Developing Healthy Relationships through Self-Awareness and Boundaries [26:00]
Understanding one's own toxic traits that may have contributed to unhealthy relationships
Being mindful of how we position people in our lives based on what we can give and receive
Having boundaries and not being a dumping ground for other people's issues
Requiring something from others in the relationship, while also being willing to give what is required
EPISODE QUOTES:
My internal struggle has been how to find selflessness, right? And also have the ability to have selfishness, and not feel bad about having boundaries, being a good friend, a good brother, and a good son, all of those things, finding my selflessness in that, but also having some level of selfishness where I have my boundaries and say, No, wait a minute.
- Scott Hayes
It's selfishness, it's a boundary. We all deserve boundaries.- Shaté Hayes
Whatever it is that you want in a friend, and I can be that. And that I ended up being a friend to all of these people who didn't know how to be a friend to me.
- Scott Hayes
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:
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