Ep. 60: What is family, blood or bond?
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We know how complicated relationships can be. On top of the interpersonal connection, we're also contending with triggers, boundaries, and expectation settings for how you need to be loved. And how does that all play out with family? Especially, when it's the family you're trying to build?
WHAT TO LISTEN FOR
What does family mean to us? [0:13]
A place where people feel they belong.
Family is about people who are there for you.
Intersection of values
People that are part of your family that might not necessarily blood, but they've been there for you all the time
The importance of bloodline [5:24]
Feeling a sense of responsibility to carry on the family bloodline
Pressure and stress associated with the potential end of the family name
Belief that family is about belonging and a place where one feels accepted and valued
Redefining what family means [16:43]
The challenge of defining family when building one's own family.
Juxtaposition between personal values and desires for family and one's upbringing.
Desire for a bloodline while also wanting to create an open and inclusive family.
Exploration of different approaches to building a family, including adoption, donor options, and fostering.
The unfamiliarity and uncertainty of considering alternative family-building options.
Feeling unsure and questioning societal expectations and assumptions about family.
The complicated nature of family [32:45]
Impact of racial trauma on the black community's concept of family
Disruption of black families through historical and systemic factors
Importance of chosen family and expanding the definition of family
Desire to break generational cycles and create a healthy family environment
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EPISODE QUOTES:
To me family is belonging is it's the, it's the place where you belong.
- Shaté Hayes
Family is more than just blood family. I acknowledge that. My family of origin, the bloodline that I came from is very important to me. They set the foundation for most of the things that I believe, and some of the things that I don't believe anymore. My mother, my father, my siblings, and the relationships that I have with aunts and uncles, were pivotal in my upbringing.
- Shaté Hayes
I think the biggest learning for me is that it is something that's ongoing. And that there is just love for our people, for ourselves, for the journey ahead, for the current experience, that I am tasked with finding my emotional maturity and my spiritual maturity, in the midst of that. I am tasked with navigating this journey.
- Scott Hayes
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
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