Ep. 69: You can set boundaries at work, too.
WATCH:
LISTEN:
We talk a lot about communication and boundaries for our personal lives, and a lot of those same principles can be applied to our professional relationships, too. Self-advocacy is universal, but it's also so personal, y'all. Join us as we unpack that.
This episode reminds you that you can set boundaries with your time and communicate your needs while maintaining great professional relationships. Make sure to tune in.
WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:
Self-advocacy and setting boundaries in professional relationships [1:20]
Some leaders, especially people of color, seem unaware that they can advocate for themselves
Scott’s story of how he realized that he has the right to advocate for himself
Being a team player DOES NOT mean you can’t say no
Most organizations prioritize their interest over your well-being, so make sure to look out for yourself
Setting boundaries around your time to prioritize self-care and avoid burnout and overcommitting
Ways to set boundaries at work [17:37]
Clearly communicating your availability to protect and honor your time (e.g. putting a sign on your office door)
Remembering that people can overstep your boundaries only if you let it
Putting guardrails around how you spend your time (i.e.putting Slack notes to notify people of what you’re currently doing)
Setting goals with your team as a way to also respect their time
The haze of setting boundaries at work [21:15]
Some people struggle with understanding boundaries
Having conversations about setting boundaries could be difficult
Asserting boundaries can sometimes make you feel like you’re being mean
Setting boundaries with a peer could be manageable, but doing so with your superior can be hard
Having a “ruinous empathy” rather than offering to meet halfway
The fear of being replaced to prove your enoughness
Navigating the haze [43:44]
Getting the support that you need
Asserting your boundaries in a respectful way
Biggest lessons [45:06]
You can’t advocate for others if you can’t advocate for yourself
People will do what you allow them to do—it’s a disservice to both you and other person
If you or someone you know could find value in the Healing Myself community, please feel free to reach out! You can leave a comment or send us an email at connect@healingmyself.co
EPISODE QUOTES:
“From that level of operating in personal relationships, in my previous relationships, where I would just, ‘whatever you need, maybe I can do it.’ That was a through line for me about who I was as a person. And also my level of dissatisfaction in work. And my dissatisfaction in relationships. And what was at the heart of it was, I had to get to the role that I was playing because what I was telling myself is, if I don't do it, I'll be replaced.”
- Scott Hayes
It can be chaos if I allow it to be chaotic. And if I don't have boundaries, or if I don't set parameters, then people can step any way they want to if there's not a boundary there.
- Scott Hayes
Business becomes personal when a person doesn't honor your boundaries and doesn’t, it feels like they don't respect the things that you've laid out that you said work best for you. So we can't be afraid of having those conversations.
- Scott Hayes
You don't have to minimize yourself to maximize someone else.
- Shaté Hayes
People will continue to do what you allow them to do—not even in a malicious way or manipulative way. So I don't want this to be about ‘you versus everybody else.’ It's not about being guarded all the time. It's not about being defensive. It's about like you said, like standing in your worth. And so somebody if every time they bring something to you, you figure out how to get it done, guess what they're gonna keep bringing stuff to you.
- Shaté Hayes
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
Follow @iamshate on Instagram
Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
Clear the haze with our Weekly Word.
We’ll send you insights from our recent convos, book recommendations, resources, and more to help you navigate the unspoken hard parts of life.
