Ep. 68: Nothing is linear because life isn’t.
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Life is always out here doing what it wants to do, and there’s nothing we can really do about it. So what could it look like to accept that, to learn how to go with the flow, and grow through it, too? Join us as we process through it.
WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:
Life teaches us that it is NOT linear [3:42]
Our tendency to have our life planned chronologically
Life is not as easy as going from point A to point B to point C. You could be at any point, then have to go three steps back (how the world had to deal with COVID, for example)
How Shaté planned to marry at 25 but ended up getting married at 38
Our relationships and careers will never be linear—we’ll always experience pivots
Always choosing to follow your heart path
Giving people the freedom to just be becoming [12:07]
People are allowed to change career paths
Stop asking kids what they want to be when they grow up. They don’t know, even some adults don’t!
Learning doesn’t stop when we graduate. We should be habitual students of life.
Life is HARD. But if we learn to grow through
Why Scott hates the statement “learn to live life on life's terms”
Learning to appreciate every season [18:58]
If you keep on wishing for a different season, you’ll never appreciate the beauty of the current one
The haze of going with the flow [22:31]
It’s hard to see the silver lining when your sacrifices don’t give you the one thing that you want
Reframing our thinking could be a challenge
Navigating the haze [26:02]
It’s normal to feel hurt when things don’t go as planned, but don’t stay there
Looking for support to help you get through the tough times
Language matters!
Letting God take charge and do the rest (instead of fighting His will)
“Redefining what the fruit looks like”
“Trust and adjust” as a way to navigate the haze
Whatever we have, wherever we are, they’re all good enough for us to start
Biggest lessons around trusting the process [37:01]
Learning how to zoom out to see the bigger picture—this is how we can find a way to thrive in life
Being present and giving yourself the freedom to experience life as it is
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EPISODE QUOTES:
We always talk about this idea of being a habitual student. And when you graduate, it seems like we dismiss this idea of learning further, and you have to then become what you should have been, I believe a student of life the entire time. I think what I'm learning to be more grounded in is that I'll never learn everything that I need to learn, that there will be evolution and growth and change and all those things that will forever be a part of my life.
- Scott Hayes
Maybe your relationship is going to end and you never thought it would, or whatever the thing is just normalizing that, that's what we mean when we say that life is hard. And then if you can figure out a way to grow through it, use it for your good, you'll be okay.
- Shaté Hayes
We have this thing where we want to have our shit together before we start to go on to the next step. And what if that's not a real place? What if my duty is to bloom where I am, to build where I am, to start with what I have, and then add on to or to learn to accept the fact that all the pieces that I had in my mind don't have to be there in order for me to start doing the work?
- Scott Hayes
I'm trying not to get consumed with anyone stuck with the process, but trying to acknowledge that the totality of it is a process into like, try to live through that tried to like find my life and still thrive and be happy and find joy and peace and forgiveness and healing and love through all of the parts of it.
- Shaté Hayes
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
Follow @iamshate on Instagram
Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
Clear the haze with our Weekly Word.
We’ll send you insights from our recent convos, book recommendations, resources, and more to help you navigate the unspoken hard parts of life.
