Ep. 67: Check yourself before you wreck yourself.

Aug 27

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Life has been life-ing, y’all. And when we’re in seasons like this, it’s easier for our emotions to get the best of us. So in this episode, we’re talking through the value of holding onto your emotions even when everything else feels like it’s falling through the cracks.

May this episode be a strong reminder to check yourself before you wreck yourself… and others. Enjoy listening!

WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:

Showing up in tough seasons [2:37]

What exactly is emotional regulation?
Finding the grade to regulate your emotions
How to have self-awareness
Growing through the difficulties
Being cool, calm, and collected under pressure
How you act differently when you’re tired
The key to having high EQ
Navigating emotions in the neurodivergence spectrum

Healing from “not enoughness” [14:24]

Understanding that we have different level of needs
Feeling that you are not enough could lead to shutting down others
Realizing that there is nothing wrong with pure, ra, and honest emotion— it just needs parameters
Whatever you feel, don’t let it control your emotion
Controlling your emotions, so they don't control you

The haze of regulating your emotions [18:21]

Being in autopilot you sometimes barely care about what other people might feel around you
Most people don’t realize that therapy is NOT healing; it merely allows you to harness your own healing
Thinking that a mistake or setback is an opportunity to learn is difficult
Being present in the moment could be exhausting
We’re still figuring out how to give ourselves permission to take a step back and just breathe
Figuring out ways on how to get out of a toxic environment and care for your well-being

Navigating the hell of a haze of regulating your emotions [30:16]

Withdrawing from always wanting to feel good—you’re NOT a baby that always needs to be pacified
Working on understanding human emotions and that there are days that you’ll feel different emotions (You should not let these temporary emotions dictate your decisions)
Learning to address your childhood wounds so they don’t up consuming you

Biggest lessons around emotion regulation [35:28]

Pausing before responding can do wonders to your relationships (because things you’ve said in the heat of the moment can probably be forgiven, but not forgotten)
DON’T make permanent decisions based on temporary emotions
Being emotional is NOT a negative thing!

If you or someone you know could find value in the Healing Myself community, please feel free to reach out! You can leave a comment or send us an email at connect@healingmyself.co

EPISODE QUOTES:

These people can see me, I'm gonna be here crying, and I’m going to be here, crushed. But it is being able to regulate whatever it is that you feel, and not allow it to control your next decision.
- Scott Hayes

Everything is equal across the board, right? So there's nothing wrong with the energy itself, right, it’s just that it has to have some parameters to be useful. And so for me, the way that I was able to make that work for me and help my thinking, my stinking thinking, about myself is that there is nothing wrong with my pure and raw and honest emotion, right? It just needs parameters.
- Scott Hayes

Imagine the health of our relationship, if every time we had a disagreement, we both just responded in anger, or just said the first thing that came down, it came out of our mouths, or toward each other up, like just reacting in that way. Because even though you can apologize, you can't take that stuff back, people can forgive, but you don't easily forget. And so it's really pause. And then ask, what is the response?
- Shaté Hayes

Probably something we should normalize as a society in terms of calling or deeming people ‘too emotional’ or ‘emotional,’ and seeing emotional as a negative connotation. When really, we are all human. And so much of our upbringing, we’re taught to suppress those feelings, right? They shake it off, just it all figured out. Just pick yourself up and keep going. When really, we should be allowing ourselves more time to feel how we feel. Because quite honestly, if you think about it, so many things, whatever's on the inside of us is going to come out.
- Shaté Hayes