Ep. 79: Man to Woman—What I want the women in my life to know.
WATCH:
LISTEN:
We’re always talking man to man, but today’s episode is for the ladies. Join us for a few thoughts for the Black women in our lives from a Black man’s perspective.
WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:
Mental health and emotional wellness for Black men [4:11]
The importance of creating a safe space for black men to share their experiences and heal
Scott’s story of feeling like a failure as a man, feeling isolated in his struggles, and his journey towards mental wealth
Breaking the stigma surrounding mental health in the Black community.
The struggles that men face these days [10:43]
The pressure to be an ideal spouse on social media
The disconnect between marriages on social media vs. marriages in real life
The idea that there’s only a certain level of happiness that men are allowed to have
Our continual journey towards “learning ourselves” [15:47]
Learning not to love excessively
Setting boundaries
Having empathy and openness within relationships
The whole journey of healing is learning ourselves for the first time
What men want women to know [21:31]
There’s power in admitting that “I’m still learning myself”
Getting rid of toxic masculinity
Accepting that men can be emotional
The struggle of “assertive communication”
Balancing love with boundary
Grace with guidance [31:57]
Gathering and talking with people navigating the same journey
Having a brave space that holds each other accountable
Choosing to have difficult, honest conversations rather than developing resentment
Biggest lessons around healing as a Black man [39:53]
The answers are not required
Honor whatever you have—especially when there were moments that you didn’t have any
There is joy to be found and being able to be on the journey
If you or someone you know could find value in the Healing Myself community, please feel free to reach out! You can leave a comment or send us an email at thelovehaze@gmail.com
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EPISODE QUOTES:
“My biggest learning to date I think is that I got the answers. I ain't got the answers and that the answers are not required.”
- Scott Hayes
“I'm still learning to navigate the journey for myself to my own enoughness, how to navigate a journey on how to be a good lover, but not an over lover.”
- Scott Hayes
“I think it's powerful to be able to say, and admit that I'm still learning myself, and I need grace in that process.”
- Shaté Hayes
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:
Listen to Out Of My Mind, song by Erykah Badu
Listen to It's A Man's World, song by James Brown
Listen to Come to the Light, song by Jill Scott
Listen to Slowly Surely, song by Jill Scott
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
Follow @iamshate on Instagram
Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
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