Ep. 54: The privilege to judge.
WATCH:
LISTEN:
“You're only a good person because your life has let you live that way.”
This statement we heard from a Netflix show called You Don’t Know Me speaks volumes about privilege, a topic that we’ll zero in on today's conversation.
In this episode, we’re talking about the choices we make based on the hand that life has dealt us. For those of us who’ve been blessed enough to have our basic needs met, let’s exercise some empathy and recognize what a privilege that is.
WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:
The idea of privilege [3:10]
Not everybody has the same value system that you have
Not everyone has the resources that you have (money, therapy, etc.)
People evolve differently depending on their privilege
Equity: everybody’s a different starting life
Privilege teaches us to be mindful of saying things that comes from a place of privilege/access
How privilege shows in our life [8:27]
Having access to better educational experience (e.g. attending a private school)
There are systems that are set up to support a few people’s success, not everyone’s (e.g. leadership and operational systems at work)
How not everyone have access to mental care
The haze of exercising empathy for those who don’t have similar access [17:16]
Never forgetting your roots, where you came from
It’s easy to judge other people when we feel detached
Remembering that with access comes a responsibility
Acknowledging that empowering others is part of work—who can you inspire and empower?
Using your own privilege to give others access to what you have that they don’t
Navigating the haze of exercising empathy [26:45]
Learning about how you can contribute to change
Hearing about others’ stories to empathize better
Lessons on access and privilege [30:43]
Don’t tell people what to do; ask them what help they need
What matters to you may not matter for others
There are different levels to access and privilege
Remember your “why” and never stop working towards your healing
EPISODE QUOTES:
Everybody doesn't have the same level of access. Everybody doesn't have the same level of resolve. Everybody hasn't evolved to the point where you have evolved to be able to just do something. And it makes me understand how privilege really works.
- Scott Hayes
I think the more you're familiar with someone's story or their experience, then that gives you the tools that better equip you to be empathetic. So I can judge something from afar, but until I'm up close with it, until I know the story, until I'm able to feel the story, until I'm able to experience or at least understand the experience, then it allows me to go from sympathy to empathy.
- Shaté Hayes
If you take your privilege, do anything with it but prosper yourself and your family, then it's not only selfish, but I think it's not what we're here for.
- Scott Hayes
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE
Listen to Juicy by The Notorious B.I.G.
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
Follow @iamshate on Instagram
Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
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