Ep. 55: SOS…Saving OurSelves.
WATCH:
LISTEN:
Firefighters go through a certain training where they have to talk a person into coming out of a burning building, no matter how scary it could be. It’s because coming in to save that person would endanger them.
We find this idea interesting because of its uncanny similarity with the path towards healing. The truth is nobody, except you, can save you. Sure, others can help, but it will ultimately be YOU who will have to work for it. You have to be willing to do it yourself.
In this episode, we’re unpacking what it means to “participate in your own rescue.”
How do we all participate in our own rescue? How do we save ourselves?
WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:
What it means to “participate in your own rescue” [3:11]
Understanding that there’s no one else that can save you—except you
There are others who can help you, but their efforts go to waste if you’re not willing to save yourself
Scott’s 90-day program treatment and the importance of the first 30 days
Having to do the work with the guidance of others (e.g. therapist)
How to know you need saving [9:07]
Having nowhere to go—do you want to stay stuck, blame yourself and others, or you want to do something different?
The overwhelming desire to break patterns, break cycles
Feeling like you’re made for more
The haze of moving to a place of healing [14:53]
Causing friction with people who want to stay in the same place
Letting go of the idea that somebody is coming to save you
Being resistant to change
Realizing that where you are currently is unhealthy
The fear of uncomfortability
Thinking that you don’t have what it takes to move forward
Finding no support
Navigating the haze [31:30]
You have to have the willingness to save yourself
Being in a healthy relationship that supports you rather than hold you back
Doing a leap of faith
Understanding that pursuing healing is a long journey and tenaciously walking towards it
Great lessons on saving yourself [36:34]
It’s not a straight line, but you’ll learn a lot along the way, and you can share what you learned to others
You’re more powerful than you think. There’s a fire inside you waiting to be lit
EPISODE QUOTES:
If I felt like I wanted more, but believed I couldn't, I didn't deserve more, or I wouldn't ever be able to find more, that would have kept me stuck.
- Shaté Hayes
If you have that stinking thinking, this limited belief that what you have right now is all that you can have, that will keep us stuck, that will keep us from saving ourselves and moving us further. I could affirm, and I see this all the time.
- Shaté Hayes
I really want this to be our starting point, that you have the skill set, and you have everything you need to save yourself. There is nobody that is coming to save you.
- Scott Hayes
I'm not here to save you. I'm here to help, be a guy. So you can use the skill set that you already have, or to help you develop more of a skill set. So you can find your own way out of this thing into a better life that you deserve, and to the life that you say that you want. So I'm not here to save you. I'm here to help you enlist the skills that you already have, or skills that you need to develop to help you be able to navigate through life, on your own terms.
- Scott Hayes
In any setting, in anything in life, if you are not ready to do the work, then you have the opportunity not to show up to that space to do that work or to be in that space and be stagnant.
- Scott Hayes
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:
Episode 45: Healing our relationship with money w/Ranauldo & Liz Wright.
Listen to If I Can’t by 50 Cent
Listen to Someday We’ll All Be Free by Donny Hathaway
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
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Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
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Clear the haze with our Weekly Word.
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