Ep. 64: Who gets the benefit of your self-doubt?

Jul 17

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We’ve all been taught that it’s a good thing to give someone the benefit of the doubt. It essentially means to assume good intent, right? But when it comes to self-doubt, that changes the game. Let’s unpack who benefits when we dim our light and play small.

WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:

We tend to assume good intent [3:44]

When we always assume that the other person means well, we get harder on ourselves
Women are taught to act/react in a certain way
There are four main-reasons why we self-sabotage
The struggle to be empathetic

Self-doubt is dangerous [12:12]

Self-doubt doesn’t lift you up, neither does your other relationships
The “worker bee” mentality and imposter syndrome
Trusting that you always make the right decision and that you can figure out what to do next
Honoring your leadership

Giving the benefit of the doubt [26:40]

When you minimize yourself, you give up your power
Allowing yourself to be heard and seen
How you really gain self-awareness

Navigating the haze [30:25]

Choosing what you know is holding you back
The need for immediate gratification
Learning how to trust and forgive yourself
Unlearning the idea that you are a burden

Lessons around self-trust [41:24]

Seeing yourself for who you really are is needed for your healing
Your failures are part of your story

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EPISODE QUOTES:

“You get that self awareness and then it is our duty to make a different decision.”
- Scott Hayes

“If I've planted that, then I'll reap it as well. Even if this is not a great decision, I have planted enough seeds of grace, and of support, and of whatever, you need to be able to read that if I get to that season as well. And to unlearn the idea that if I have a down season in my life, then it's somehow a burden to someone else.”
- Scott Hayes

“Its practice is continuing to see myself, forgive myself, honor myself, give myself permission to show up in certain ways, see my humanity. If I get it wrong, try it again. Just like, trust that I'm good in this moment, and that I don't have to be perfect. And if somebody does judge me that I'll be okay, that I'll figure out a way to move forward.”
- Shaté Hayes