Ep. 64: Who gets the benefit of your self-doubt?


 

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We’ve all been taught that it’s a good thing to give someone the benefit of the doubt. It essentially means to assume good intent, right? But when it comes to self-doubt, that changes the game. Let’s unpack who benefits when we dim our light and play small.

WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:

We tend to assume good intent [3:44]

  • When we always assume that the other person means well, we get harder on ourselves 

  • Women are taught to act/react in a certain way 

  • There are four main-reasons why we self-sabotage 

  • The struggle to be empathetic

Self-doubt is dangerous [12:12]

  • Self-doubt doesn’t lift you up, neither does your other relationships 

  • The “worker bee” mentality and imposter syndrome 

  • Trusting that you always make the right decision and that you can figure out what to do next 

  • Honoring your leadership 

Giving the benefit of the doubt [26:40]

  • When you minimize yourself, you give up your power 

  • Allowing yourself to be heard and seen 

  • How you really gain self-awareness 

Navigating the haze [30:25] 

  • Choosing what you know is holding you back 

  • The need for immediate gratification 

  • Learning how to trust and forgive yourself 

  • Unlearning the idea that you are a burden 

Lessons around self-trust [41:24]

  • Seeing yourself for who you really are is needed for your healing

  • Your failures are part of your story 

If you or someone you know could find value in the Healing Myself community, please feel free to reach out! You can leave a comment or send us an email at connect@healingmyself.co 

EPISODE QUOTES:


“You get that self awareness and then it is our duty to make a different decision.”

- Scott Hayes

“If I've planted that, then I'll reap it as well. Even if this is not a great decision, I have planted enough seeds of grace, and of support, and of whatever, you need to be able to read that if I get to that season as well. And to unlearn the idea that if I have a down season in my life, then it's somehow a burden to someone else.”

- Scott Hayes


“Its practice is continuing to see myself, forgive myself, honor myself, give myself permission to show up in certain ways, see my humanity. If I get it wrong, try it again. Just like, trust that I'm good in this moment, and that I don't have to be perfect. And if somebody does judge me that I'll be okay, that I'll figure out a way to move forward.”

- Shaté Hayes

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Ep. 65: Seeing Black love matters.

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Ep. 63: Healing from the inside out with Oriola Esuleke.