Ep. 76: Save yourself first.
WATCH:
LISTEN:
In a world that often demands our constant attention and care for others, it's easy to overlook the most crucial relationship of all—the one we have with ourselves.
We’re back with a new look and new name, but the healing vibes are still the same! Join our first convo as Healing Myself to discover why it's so important to heal your relationship with yourself first.
WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:
Why is it so important to save/heal yourself first? [3:21]
Don’t let your trauma become who you are
Healing yourself first gives you the opportunity to have healthy relationships with others
You show up differently when you’re healed
Being intentional with the way you talk to yourself and to others
The value of saving yourself—the hard parts [7:06]
How people show up could be a reflection of the demons they’re fighting
Being careful with you who you emulate
The importance of communicating what you need
Realizing that you are enough is they key to a healthy relationship with yourself and others
The moment you stopped trusting yourself
What happened that made you second guess yourself?
The value of saving yourself—the healing [15:13]
Having the mindset to move towards the life you aspire
Setting a vision and relentlessly working make it happen
It’s hard when the villains seem to be winning
The tedious journey towards that realization that you are valuable and worthy
By not communicating what you need in a relationship, you are doing yourself a great disservice
What makes healing harder than you thought [23:17]
Setting boundaries and seeing it through (it’s hard!)
Choosing yourself could feel uncomfortable
You DON’T need to hold yourself to impossible standards
Biggest lessons around healing yourself [31:10]
Choosing yourself needs an every day practice
Your relationship with yourself is the most important one
Healing yourself is a continual process
If you or someone you know could find value in the Healing Myself community, please feel free to reach out! You can leave a comment or send us an email at connect@healingmyself.co
EPISODE QUOTES:
All relationships at that point have been around the fact that I never told anybody that I need anything, because I was scared that I would be rejected. And I was saying that people were bad people. And they were misusing me. But it was really that I was misusing myself, not valuing myself enough to say what it was that I needed in a relationship. And I was able to, at that point, choose to heal and move differently. Yeah, and make my peace with that.
- Scott Hayes
I think the perspective that I always have, is that the relationship that I have with myself is the most important one. And when I honor that relationship, first, I can be better at honoring the external relationships that I have with other people.
- Scott Hayes
I just knew I wanted to show up differently. I didn't want to just live based on the way that society or whoever taught me how to live, I wanted to show up in a different way. So it's definitely been a gradual process. And my spiritual practice guide has been with me the whole way. What was new for me, though, was therapy, and in these past several years, and so, that combination has been just really powerful for me.
- Shaté Hayes
To save myself first, in my opinion, means when I do the inner work on myself, when I move past stuck places, and healed old traumas and wounds, and I show up differently in my relationship to the point that you just made, I show up differently at work, I trust myself more and more confident, I show up differently in the world, I treat myself better, I value my health differently, like I set boundaries differently. So it really impacts every single part of your life.
- Shaté Hayes
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:
The Love Haze: Episode 55, "SOS...Saving OurSelves"
Listen to On & On, song by Erykah Badu
Listen to I’m Doin’ Me, song by Fantasia
Listen to They Just Don’t Know, song by Gyft
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
Follow @iamshate on Instagram
Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
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We’ll send you healing insights from our recent convos, book recommendations, resources, and more to help you heal yourself first.
