Ep. 77: Change your default setting.
WATCH:
LISTEN:
We’ve been thinking a lot about chaos vs peace. In today’s episode, we’re unpacking the idea of changing our default setting, specifically when that default is chaos.
We invite you to reflect on your default setting and consider the possibility of embracing peace amidst life's chaos. Remember, healing is a journey, and every step towards self-discovery is a victory worth celebrating.
WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:
Default setting of chaos and destabilization [1:43]
The constant cycle of being displeased with yourself
A pattern of self-doubt and dissatisfaction
The struggle to let go of the idea that you should keep moving to the next level
How boredom triggers you to find chaos
Our constant desire to find chaos is rooted from the feeling of not enoughness
Unhealthy comparison (i.e. your life vs. others’ lives as seen on social media) can contribute to the feeling of not enoughness
The belief that too much happiness is a prelude to something awful
NOT choosing chaos over peace [12:03]
How Shaté, who’s always chosen peace, chose chaos in her finances
Learning to be grateful for what you have and acknowledging answered prayers
How not to have a regret-filled life
Finding joy and gratitude in where you are now instead of continuing to search for it
Let’s talk about healing—changing/reprogramming your default settings [19:51]
Changing the narrative that you're telling yourself
Changing the way you talk to yourself—language matters!
Remembering that wherever you are in life:
There are so many things to be grateful for
You worked hard for it and you deserve credit
Actionable steps to reprogram your default settings [27:24]
Evaluating why you need help
Determining the change you want to see
Developing a treatment plan
Shaté encourages seeking help from a therapist/accountability buddy or any type of mentor who could keep you in check
Not being to hard on yourself and remembering that healing is NOT linear
Biggest lessons around choosing peace [34:27]
Always factor in peace when making decisions—you won’t ever go wrong
Never allow people step over the boundaries you’ve set for yourself
Friends, we’re very happy to announce our first live podcast event in the Atlanta area, and it’s happening in March. A portion of all of our proceeds are going towards subsidizing or covering the cost of therapy for black adults. More details soon, hope to see you there!
If you or someone you know could find value in the Healing Myself community, please feel free to reach out! You can leave a comment or send us an email at connect@healingmyself.co
EPISODE QUOTES:
If I always feel like I'm not enough, then I always tell myself that I'm not doing enough.
- Scott Hayes
If we're always waiting to be happy until we have this thing that we think will make us happy, then we are allowing external factors that dictate our joy.
- Shaté Hayes
Along the lines of things not being linear, I would just say that we all have to give ourselves permission to like, be human beings, who are, you know, just trying to figure it out.
- Scott Hayes
There's a scripture, ‘seek peace and pursue it,’ and it has never steered me wrong.
- Shaté Hayes
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:
Listen to Ep. 48: Mental health matters with Stephanie Westbrook
Listen to Ep. 45: Healing our relationship with money w/Ranauldo & Liz Wright
Listen to Hello, song by Aqyila
Listen to Reset III, song by Isaac Carree
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
Follow @iamshate on Instagram
Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
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